The Big Mac can ‘t make either side happy. So, when football tries to make the game safer, enforce penalties for breathing on the quarterback, it appeases this group, but the other end of the spectrum -where a lot of their actual fanbase is- complains about how things have gotten way too soft and turns away from football to more violent options like UFC or MMA. It’s kind of like football on one side, you’ve got the argument that it’s not safe, studies show the hits lead to concussions, the concussions lead to severe health risks. Over the years, the Big Mac has faced equally fierce competition from both the health community and the Tim Allen “More Power!” competition. You see it on the posters, a bright light shines behind the burger as if it came straight down from the heavens. America’s burger is supposed to be displayed in all its glory the toppings fresh from a garden in California, the cheese from the happiest cows in Wisconsin. It’d be like asking for a Corvette with an automatic transmission or a Rocky marathon without Rocky IV. And, at that point, it’s really not a Big Mac at all.īecause a Big Mac is not meant to be modified. “Someday, son, someday.” Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun!Īs a kid, I wasn’t nearly ready for the Big Mac. Say Pa, you think I could eat one of those someday? He’d bring the tray back to the table and I’m pretty sure a church choir sang when he opened the Big Mac box. My dad always ordered the Number 1: Big Mac, fries, and a Diet Coke.

I wasn’t ready, so I ordered chicken nuggets, or maybe one of those flat junior burgers that looked like somebody took a rolling pin to it back in the kitchen.

The burger was the size of my head the sliced pickles were the size of my eyes. As a five-year-old kid, the Big Mac was larger than life.

Big giant big mac with a diet coke